The Big Apple. An impossible dream?

They say money can’t buy happiness, but it sure as hell could buy mine right about now.

I’m sick of being stuck in this dead end town. I’ve learned a lot at my job and I’m thankful for the opportunity but I’m tired of it; this isn’t what I want to do and this isn’t where I want to stay. I feel suffocated by the lack of opportunities around me and right now what I want more than anything is to move to NYC and become an editor at a publisher or newspaper. But the fact that it’s so damn expensive and I’m in debt up to my eyeballs thanks to college means that won’t be happening any time soon.

The government expects it’s youth to go to college in order to get a decent job and contribute to society but then we’re paying out of our asses until we’re ready for retirement. Compared to others my loans are just a drop in the bucket but for me making less than I think I deserve, my loans are an ominous black cloud looming overhead for the foreseeable future.

Society berates and belittles us when we, and I mean millennials, whine and complain about how hard life is. But for those of us that are working our butts off to try and make something of ourselves, it’s pretty hard to stay positive all the time when day after day we slide back down the hill of our meager accomplishments.

I wish I had the guts to just pick up and move, knowing full well I had to no idea what the hell would happen and that I barely had enough to get by for one month in the Big Apple. It seems like such an impossibly stupid dream to have when I remind myself of everything standing in my way. Student loans, car payment, car insurance, gas, doctor bills, phone bill, unavoidable monthly expenses. The list of things, places and people taking my money seems never ending.

I’m grateful to be living at home rent free and a fridge full of food don’t get me wrong, but even with saving that money, it’ll never be enough to get me where I want to go any time soon. When do I get to catch a break, I’m working as hard as I can right now, saving as much as I can but society kicks its ugly foot in my face pushing me back down my tiny hill.


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